It is amazing to me that there isn't just one special moment or one distinct day from this trip that stands out from among the others...Every day, each minute, was as spectacular as the next. We walked in the power of the Holy Spirit.

 It was easier to plant seeds here in Malawi, the soil of people's hearts had been weeded and tilled by the unfortunate circumstances of their lives; poverty, death, illness and abandon of all sorts. Children here cared for other children...Old women meant to be cared for themselves, suddenly found themselves mothering toddlers with whom they could not keep up...Men raised their nieces and nephews...and yet still many children wandered the dusty roads between villages completely alone.

Everywhere we went the faces of little children left to fend for themselves haunted me. During the many bus rides that we took throughout the trip, one image appeared over and over no matter where we were. I kept seeing small children standing against the wall of their house all alone...just leaning against the house starring off toward the road where I was traveling. They were all different children, wearing different clothes, in different villages, leaning against different houses...but all of their eyes begged me to take them, the expressions on their faces all asked me to hold them, to play with them, to care about them...they needed to have someone who knew where they were. At home, if a three year old wandered the streets alone, the child would be taken from the home and placed in foster care...but not here. Here no one looked after these little ones unless someone in their family stepped up to help them.

Village after village we saw kids playing with sharp rusty blades meant for farming. Little ones sat on saw blades, feet dangling and swinging dangerously close. One time a little one sat and listened to me as I described the love of Jesus, he held a rusted hand saw blade and scrapped it against his thigh making marks in the dirt on his leg...he seemed mesmerized by the marks that were appearing and occasionally looked up to hear what I was saying. Every motherly instinct inside of me screamed, "Put that dirty dangerous thing down right now!"...yet I was a visitor in their culture, and had no right to say such things...and so I continued on speaking about a love that I knew could keep him safe forever instead...

On one hand the people were amazing there as they lived out real community, caring for family and neighbors and many of them raising each other's children, but on the other hand they had very little as far as education about so many vital things; about safety and boundaries...and the poverty of their nation had robbed most parents of any time that they could spend with their little ones.

 Both men and women worked hard all day to accomplish what we allow machines to do for us here. Washing clothing is a back breaking ordeal of scrubbing and wringing and rinsing. Making a meal for lunch or dinner begins as early as sunrise starting fires, chasing chickens, plucking feathers...here we walk into a food store and browse arrogantly. We select what others have neatly packaged for us. We do not hunt, we do not kill, we do not really even cook most of what we eat. The variety and choice here is staggering, but we are desensitized to it. Knowing that I would have my meals prepared by others and eat what was provided for me was freeing. Food here was more about provision than selection. Along with the freedom of having no mirrors to worry about what I looked like on the outside, not preparing the food, or deciding what food I would be eating took the concern about "me" out of eating as well...

Let's face it, America is a narcissistic society. Our culture breeds arrogance and self sufficient drivel that convinces us that we "deserve" everything that we want...that we "need" everything that we want...and that we should "have" everything that we want. We no longer take into consideration that what our hearts "want" isn't always good for us. In Pride and rebellion, we refuse to see the sinful and perverted nature of our hearts and minds and we sugar coat everything and wrap it in shiny plastic and then stuff it into our already overcrowded lives and wonder why we feel unhappy, depressed, or unfulfilled...we fail to include God who created us and loves us, in any of our daily routine and wonder why he doesn't show up when we shoot off a prayer request in a selfish tone demanding an immediate response. We are so full of ourselves that we have lost our lives and no longer live for anything that is truly significant.

Going on this trip reminded me how much I, we, need God. I don't only need His guidance, I need His wisdom, His love, His compassion. I, myself, am not good enough to be in charge of my life. I am instinctively selfish and horrid, but with the guidance of God's Spirit, I can genuinely care about others more than myself...I can travel to Africa and find true abundance from pouring myself out in whatever way is needed at that moment. Becoming a servant to others in love has given me peace and fullness and satisfaction (at least as much as I think anyone can be satisfied while in this world). Until the time that I am with Christ, housed in my eternal body, able to look upon His lovely face, I am here because He has a plan for me. He has work for me to do, people for me to love, captives who need to be set free.

It isn't enough for just me to be free, He has changed my heart so that I care for others enough to want them to be free too.

This in itself is a miracle. I am no longer the same person that I was. In Christ, I am a new creation. The old is gone. ?The new has come! "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here! All this from God who reconciled us to himself in Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling Himself in Christ, not counting people's sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors , as though God were making His appeal through us." - 2Corinthians 5:17-20 ...Ummm, WOW!!!...we have a purpose here folks...if you are "in Christ", not only are you supposed to be living a new way, but people are going to hear God's appeal through your life.

How are you living?
Are you comfortable?
Are you uncomfortable?
What do you talk about?
What are you doing with your life?

If you are living "in Christ", you life will show it, you will bear fruit for His kingdom...you will  be God's ambassador and your life will overflow into all of those around you!