I won't be blogging again until I return from Malawi...I will be journaling every day and when I return I will post daily until I have caught you all up...Thank you for being part of this journey with me It has been nice having company :)

I will be back soon! I Can't wait to see what God has planned for me next!
God Bless...

As I sit here today, I am a changed woman. Eleven and one half years ago I met Jesus and nothing is the same. I leave for Malawi in five days and am in awe of what the Lord has already accomplished in me through this trip. It is a bit surreal at this point that I will be in Africa next week!

As I said yesterday, I will be spending much more of my time with God in His word and in worship as I prepare to leave so these posts will be very short (OK, short for me...Lol).

When I began writing this blog 4 months ago I had no idea what I was in for. The experience has been wonderful. I have been honest and forthcoming about many things...vulnerable in front of many people...and I am still standing, I have survived...

The world tells you that you need to be tough, you need to be perfect, you need to be in control, you need to "WIN". Jesus tells me that I need to be gentle, I need to recognize my imperfection, I need to realize that He is in control, I need to lose myself....

This journey is only beginning and as I go I am encouraged. God won't leave me as He found me, He is at work in my heart.

"...Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6


So another day begins and I am not who I used to be, but not yet who I will become...How thankful I am for that!

As it begins to sink in that I am leaving for Malawi in 6 days I am digging in even deeper with the Lord. It is going to be essential to spend every possible moment that I can in His word and in worship. He keeps saying "Abide in me!"

Last night I met with Jenn to discuss our plans for leading during the widow day event. We talked about many things, but the clear truths which seemed to rise to the surface were; 1) God promises that He Himself is our husband who will protect and provide for us, and also 2) that we are to abide in Him.

Jeremiah 33:3 says, "If you abide in Me, My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you."

In the book Book of John Jesus states, "I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." John 15:1-4

We long to share with the widows the concept that they are made one with Christ. God's word overflows with His longing to have an abundant and intimate relationship with them.

This morning my daily devotional was based on the same scripture from Jeremiah 33:3 (I have taken this as my Que that yes, indeed, we are on the right track as we prepare our teaching for the widows). But it also spoke about God's attentiveness to our call, "He shall call upon me, and I will answer him. " - Psalm 91:15

That may seem like a short simple sentence, but it is powerful. God doesn't say "I might answer him", or "I will answer him eventually", or "I don't have time to answer him right now..."...NO!, He said that when we call, immediately he will answer us. That is a great promise!

All in all, I feel that God wants the widows to know that they aren't alone. He wants them to know of His great and perfect love for them. He wants them to know that the safest place in all of this world is "IN" Him.

He wants me to know that...He wants you to know that...the lesson wasn't just for the widows. After all, I can't very well share what I don't have...I need to be abiding in Jesus before I can accurately share what that looks like in a life to others.

I have to go now. I am going to go spend some quality time with my Husband, Jesus...
Have an awesome day!

I saw this picture and laughed..."get out of my head!" I thought immediately. I had been looking around my house and thinking about the days when I used to dust and vacuum daily, wander around "fixing" and "straightening" things, when I used to put away every folded piece of laundry in it's proper place...and yes, make the bed with fluffed pillows and a OCD-like smoothed out bedspread.

Those days were long ago, when the children were tiny and I didn't know the Lord yet. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that when one accepts Jesus as Lord and Saviour that cleanliness goes out the window...I am saying that the importance of things shifts dramatically.

As I prepare to leave for Africa in 7 days (!!!) I have been contemplating the cultural differences. The homes that I will visit will have dirt floors instead of plush vacuumed carpets, there will be woven mats instead of overstuffed couches strewn with colorful accent pillows, there will be a window with a view of wild animals instead of a large screen T.V., there will be food eaten cross legged on the ground instead of sitting at a solid cherry dinning table with matching buffet and corner cabinet....

I am grateful for the opportunity to further convince myself that "stuff" doesn't matter. The arrangement and condition of our "stuff" doesn't matter. The illusion of the control that we have over our "stuff" doesn't matter...

It was a few years back when I went from obsessively straightening things to the dark side of "leaving it for later". I had been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in addition to my already existent auto immune diseases: Fibromyalgia and Graves Disease.

During the earliest stages of the illness everything in my life went on hold. Even the simplest of tasks was nearly impossible. My priorities shifted and my abilities soon followed suit. I was basically able to eat sleep and rest, in that order. Reading the bible was my only comfort at the time .

It took many doctor's appointments, hospital stays, medicines and years for me to be back to a fully functioning individual. And now, praise the Lord, I am about to go on a mission trip to Africa!

God did me a solid favor when he allowed me to be so sick. He cleared my plate of all of the "nonsense" in my life. I was so ill that I had to pray about and consider any new thing that I added back into my life. I began to let dishes pile in the sink for later. I left the vacuum in the closet, and the dust rag in the drawer. I spent more time with Jesus and plenty of time resting.

While the world, and some of my secular friends might have called me foolish and lazy, God showed me that I was becoming wise and strong. I was becoming a bit more like Mary as I stopped fussing around with a "Martha" mentality.

"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, 'Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me!' 'Martha, Martha', the Lord answered,'You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed-or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." - Luke 10:38-42

God had showed me what actually mattered...what was better, and it was not being taken away from me. Once you see the truth, once the table turns...there is no going back.

I distinctly remember the difference that I saw in my maternal grandmother as the first clear example of this "better" life. Before my grandfather died, their house was predictable to say the least. I could close my eyes and tell you what nick-knacks were on which table and where all of the furniture was in each room. Right down to the placement of the hairspray in her bathroom cabinet...my grandmother never moved anything, and everything had it's place. Things were dusted and adjusted and more than likely glued into position! But after losing the love of her life, something happened. My grandmother (a Baptist church organist by trade) began to really live a Christ driven life. Dishes began to pile in the sink for later, and dust blanketed prized possessions, while my grandmother started tending to the older widows in her church. She started having these women over for lunch dates, she drove them to doctor's appointments, and she tended to the needs of these women before her own. My grandmother had lost her husband who had started courting her when she was barely a teen and had walked with her throughout her long lifetime, and in that profound loss, had finally found her true love; Jesus.

We tend to put many things before Christ. We unintentionally focus on the gifts instead of the giver. We exhaust our energy on menial tasks and waste our quickly fading moments on things that have no real value and find ourselves standing alone in a house well swept and tidy without a clue as to the treasures that we have forfeited.

I often wish that she could see me now...that she could know that her example mattered not just to the widows that she made time for, but to Jesus, and to me.

When I go to Malawi and work with the widows and orphans, I will be taking this priceless memory with me...Thank you Grandmom for showing me what really matters :)

I am so excited to go to Africa...I can't really think about anything else at this point. This morning I watched videos that I found on YouTube from other mission teams who had been at Esther's House Orphanage where I will be staying for two weeks.

I am currently spending time planning the lessons that we will teach the widows from the surrounding village of Madzanje. At first the story of Naomi and Ruth from the book of Ruth was suggested and I thought that it was a good suggestion. The story would be encouraging to the widows.

As I considered this opportunity to reach women much like those that I work with here in the states every day, I couldn't help but think of the despair that comes from being old and alone. This last season of life can be both a burden and a blessing. The average lifespan in Malawi is 34...and yet these widows are in their seventies and eighties. They have survived in a society which does not recognize them without a husband or son. Their bodies are forced to walk and work for even the most basic of needs; food and water. They sleep in huts made of Sticks with thatched roofs held down by large rocks. Like their U.S. counterparts, these women have failing eye sight and hearing, they have arthritis, gout, and dementia.. Can you imagine the residents of an American retirement home living in a stick hut, sitting on a straw mat crossed legged on the dirt floor of their home, eating nsema (basically a mashed cornmeal starchy food like mashed potatoes) and walking for miles for water which they then have to carry home?

I started sponsoring a widow shortly after making the decision to go to Malawi. Her name is Files Yohane, and I will be meeting her in 8 days! As I think and pray about what to teach the widows (one of my Team assignments), I look at the picture that I have of Files. The deep lines in her lovely chocolate brown skin mingle together on a worn and yet joyful face. She is 70 years old and lost her husband to illness two years ago. Thanks to Esther's House, she has been able to survive. Now, for as little as $20.00 a month (!!!) she has the peace of mind of knowing that all of her basic needs will now be met. For $20.00 a month, which is what it costs for me to get a fast food meal for my family, I can provide for all of a person's basic needs. 

Files is my target audience for the Widow's lesson. I know that she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior in 2011. I know that God has blessed me in allowing me to bless her by meeting her physical needs, and now I want to complete the assignment, and address her spiritual needs as well. These ladies live an inconceivably rough existence, and yet the pictures and videos that I have seen, prove them to be joyful, appreciative and strong.

Further prayer and consideration have left me to settle on the story of Anna the prophetess. In the book of Luke there are only a few sentences about this incredible widow. And yet, these verses are jam packed with the powerful result of a life fully committed to the Lord. The life in this case was a widow's life, the lowliest of members of the Israelite culture other than children and lepers. Widows had no rights to land or food or anything with out husbands or sons. They were on their own, just like the women of Madzanje Malawi.

Anna is called a prophetess in the biblical rendition of her story. There were only six women noted as prophets in the bible (pretty distinctive for a widow!) and of them all, she alone, had the pleasure of telling people the news of the coming Messiah, Jesus Christ. (Quite the privilege for a widow!) Anna was only married for seven years before she became a widow. This meant that she was young at the time and would have more likely chosen to remarry for provision, protection, and social standing...but not Anna. We find Anna at the age of 84, in the temple day and night.

"There was also a prophet Anna, the daughter of Penuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying." - Luke 2:36-37

Instead of choosing society, when left abandoned and desolate, Anna chose God. Anna committed the rest of her life to worshiping and serving the Lord. She was provided protection and food and the basic needs of survival as is proven by her age of eighty-four years. She had such a close enough relationship to God that she heard from him about the coming messiah. She was bold and well respected as many listened to her prophesying and believed. She continued to trust in the Lord steadfastly until his promise finally came in the form of an infant, which is most likely not what she was expecting.

"Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem." - Luke 2:38

This story also includes an elderly priest named Simeon. He too was old. So here they were...two very wise, very old people, both of whom ended up committing their entire lives to God. Day and night they worshipped...they prayed..they fasted...

Although Simeon and Anna were very old, they had never lost their hope that they would see the messiah. Led by the Holy Spirit, they were among the first to bear witness to Jesus. When God promises something, he always delivers it, but His timetable is much different than ours. Waiting for God is never futile.

The bible makes reference in Isaiah 54, Jeremiah 3, and 2 Corinthians 11 that God himself is our "husband". I want to combine these promises of His provision, protection, and love, with the story of Anna to show these widows that God himself sees them, respects them, will provide for them and protect them. That if they choose Him as their husband that their lives will be full and abundant despite the cultural dilemmas that they face. They too can live a good fruitful life to a ripe old age in Christ.

Anna had learned to - put God first - to live a life that honored God - to surrender her heart completely to Him...It could have been easy for Anna to let her life sink into despair after her husband died, instead she devoted her life to God. Anna chose a different path.

If Christ had come the first day that Anna was widowed, think of how many people would never have heard the message of salvation! The lesson here too is to never give up...your life has a divine purpose for God.

Anna did what God told her to do. You can be used by God no matter who you are, even if you are widowed and poor. God provided for Anna. God is providing for Files Yohane. God is the best husband that one could can ever have.

Anna was courageous, humble, patient...It is wonderful to note that  the name Anna in Hebrew means "Grace". God's grace is sufficient. God's grace is endless. God's grace longs to reach an open and receptive heart...

Jesus Tells us that we are in the world, but not of it. We are aliens here. This is true. The way that I think is not the way the world around me thinks...and some days, I just long to be home. I know that while I am here, Christ asks me to go and make disciples, and I do, but that is hard sometimes.

When you "make disciples" you become family. When you "make a disciple" you are bound to them for life...and then, sometimes, God calls them to go somewhere else, and they must obey.

Since I have come to Christ, I have temporarily lost many a sister or brother to God's call, and although I rejoice for them that the have been called to go, and that they have responded in obedience, a piece of my heart breaks every time that they leave. The redeeming thought is that we know we will ultimately all be together again... and change is good, it means that you are alive (but it also can hurt and leave you feeling loss).

I know that God is good and these feeling will pass, but for the moment, I am mourning the movement of a sister and my heart is breaking. I am excited to see what God is going to do in her life. I see how yielded she is to Him and I realize that she must obey, but she is family, we have been through so much together that I am on the verge of tears as I write here. They are melancholy tears; happy ones for her ministry and maturing relationship with the Lord, and sad ones for our friendship and the ministry which we had been in together.

Part of being "in" the world, but not "of" the world, is that we don't live life by our own direction, we must follow the direction of God. When God first called Abraham his name was Abram and he lived in Ur, an important city of the ancient world. God told him to "go from your country, your people and your father's household to the land I will show you." - Genesis 12:1

And "Abram went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy five years old when he set out for Harran. He took his wife Sari, his nephew Lot, all the possessions he had acquired, and set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there." - Genesis 12:4-5

As Abram followed the instruction of the Lord, his name was changed to Abraham, he was given an incredible ministry and blessed in his old age with being the father of a mighty nation. Along the way he made many mistakes, but all along he "believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness." (Genesis 15:6) When we "believe God", we too set out for new lands.

Just like Abram, God asks many of us to launch out into unknown territory, sometimes alone, sometimes with our immediate family. So we go, albeit imperfectly, and we often must leave beloved friends and family behind when we do.

It is a blessing to be called, and although I have lost friends to pastoring their own churches, retirement, moving to another home church, ministries that aren't my calling, and moving to Tennessee or Hawaii for example...I have also had the blessing of walking with them and becoming sisters and brothers in the family of Christ.

This morning I am still feeling the stretching and twisting that comes from change...I pray for my sister's walk with the Lord and for the great plans that He has for her, but I am saddened for my own personal loss. At least she isn't moving to Hawaii (lol) but I have always felt an easy, down to earth, sisterly love for her and so I am saddened.

God has a plan for all of us and seasons of life when we, like Abram, need to move on. I have left many places during my journey, and as I prepare for my trip to Malawi, I secretly know deep down somewhere in my spirit, that I too will be asked to launch out into new territory as a result of this trip.

Being comfortable feels good, but it really isn't experiencing the fullness of what God has for us. If Abraham had stayed in Ur with the Chaldeans, he would have had an average good life (the scripture says that he had a family and he had many possessions)...but instead he "believed God" and became the father of a mighty nation which ultimately ushered in the birth of the Messiah who came to save the world.

When we realize the scope of what God wants to do with our lives and the lives of those that we love in the body of Christ...when we believe that we (and they) can change the world if we follow God's promptings...it makes it easier to say goodbye. After all, it really isn't goodbye if you are part of God's family...it is more like; "until we meet again".

To all of the most loved people who have walked closely with me and helped me to become the woman of God that I currently am..."Thank you". I cannot wait until we are all together and I can hear our voices mingling as we worship the one true God forever...That's totally worth waiting for!...Until we meet again <3...Love you all :)

Waiting...everyone hates it! Waiting means we are not in charge...we have zero control...we have no input, no one is asking for our "oh so valuable advice"...it means somehow that we are the receiver, not the giver, and this troubles many people.

I am not sure if most people are bothered because they don't know the giver (God, the giver of all good things) or if it is the loss of control that they disdain. I don't care for waiting because this society has conditioned me to want things "NOW"...and has twisted each of us to go out and try to get whatever it is that we want"now". We have been told that what we want is what we need and that is just, well...a lie!

Due to credit cards and the media, our thought life has been inundated with the concept that we "Deserve" things, and that even if we don't have the money to buy them, we should use our credit card and get it right now, because we "need" it...UGH


Waiting is good for us. It builds character. It humbles us. It strengthens us. It produces endurance in us. It reminds us that God is in control. It causes us to consider what we need instead of what we want. It helps us to turn our focus from ourselves...I really could keep going, but you get the point.

The Hebrew word for "Wait" means to stretch or to twist, and includes the idea of tension. It means to look forward with confident hope to that which is good or beneficial (herein lies the difference between waiting and worrying, but I will leave that for another time). The connotation evokes two images: connection and tension. When we wait on God in hope we have a line directly connecting us with God. We and God are linked together, and our gaze follows the line right up to the throne of God (now this of course assumes that you include God in your waiting...which I highly suggest that you do). Keeping our gaze on God keeps our minds from wandering to problems that we may be facing while we wait. Visualize it like this, you waiting on God are at one end of a taught line connected to the one you are hoping in and waiting for, God himself at the other end.

I wish I could hand you a piece of string right now and tell you to stretch it taught between your two hands. Then I would ask you to imagine that you are at one end and God is at the other (but I can't so perhaps you can go and find a piece somewhere in your house and give it a try...seriously it will really help this concept hit home. It's OK, I'll wait...LOL).

When I have this tension in mind it helps me because, even though I don't know how long I will wait, I am filled with hope, because I am not alone. God is connected to me, and my gaze is on Him, who is my hope. The line connecting us is not limp, but a tension-filled line. Why? Because the possibility that my pain filled days will stretch on with no end in sight creates physical tension. But remember, although waiting means tension, it also means connection, so keep your eyes on the Faithful One at the other end of line.

The bible is filled with words about waiting on God...it takes courage,hope, time, but if we can get it right in our hearts who it is that we wait for, it will help us to endure.

"But, as for me, I will watch expectantly for the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me." - Micah 7:7

Waiting on God, means trusting in God. If you don't know God...you have no idea that He is always trustworthy, that His character is compassionate, just, and perfect. When you wait without knowing who you are waiting for, you most likely are waiting in worry or fear. But, if you know God, if you have an intimate relationship with Him, and you do know His character....then waiting is merely spending time focusing on Him and hoping as you keep hold of your end of the line, knowing that the one who can and will care for you is holding the other end.

As I have been waiting for this trip to Malawi, I have been continually connected with the great and awesome giver of all things, my loving God. I wait with courage, hope and trust in my God, knowing that His plans for me are good. Knowing who God is and remembering that I am connected to Him when I wait really changes the way that I feel and waiting becomes a joyful expectancy! (Honestly! Give it a try...)

"No one who hopes in You will ever be put to shame." - Psalm 25:3

I am light. I shine from the inside out. I shine through my smile, through my eyes, through my actions, through my words...A light cannot help shinning...that is what lights do, they shine.


But, if you cover a light, no one can see it.

I know some amazing Christians. They truly love Jesus. Their lives have been transformed by Him, but they are afraid to let their lights shine. To me this is unnatural, and I don't think I would know how to cover my light even if I tried. I know that we each receive different spiritual gifts from God, but all of us who receive Christ, receive the light.

And so, if we are light, why are we not shining in the dark places of this world? Why do we stand frozen in our comfort zones where the light is already shinning? How can we restrain ourselves from venturing out into the dark places of this world, after all we will be able to see when we get there, because we are carrying the light.

I cannot live lives for other people. I can however, pray that they will strengthen and get up onto their feet and carry the light where there is darkness.

"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house." - Matthew 5:14-15

If we live for Christ, we will glow like lights, showing others what Christ is like. We hide our light  by (1) being quiet when we should speak (2) going along with the crowd (3) denying the light (4) letting sin dim our light (5) not explaining our light to others (6)ignoring the needs of others.

Be a beacon of truth - don't shut your light off from the rest of your world, the light you carry is the truth of the Lord himself...

"God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all." - 1John 1:5

If we are in God's presence, we will begin to shine, and once we are shinning, we should want to go and light up the world around us. The world right outside of your door is cloaked in darkness. You don't have to go to Malawi with me to shine your light (You might not even need to leave your own home to shine the light).

Please, share...share the goodness of Jesus, shine the truth of His presence where ever you go and watch as the entire world begins to light up!

 I started this blog on April 3rd, 2012...since then I have posted 107 times, I have had thousands of page views, and have had readers in the U.S., Russia, the U.K., China, Brazil, Germany, and Indonesia. WOW!

I have 12 days until I leave for Malawi, and I must say that I am amazed at what a little effort can produce. When I decided to go on this mission trip I felt like God wanted me to make a greater commitment to being disciplined by writing daily. I already journal so I thought that starting a blog might be fun. (I am officially old now, so this was a bit traumatic for me). Setting up the blog required massive amounts of technology. But I did it, and here I am, three and a half months later and not only am I still doing it, but I actually enjoy the daily challenge of sharing the ways that God has been working in my life.

I must admit that I was shocked to see that people from other countries had stumbled upon my little "blogspot", and that they were consistently reading. I wonder what other awesome things can happen when I put out a dedicated effort?

All I really know is that what I have accomplished over a very short period of time has made some kind of an effect. Friends have told me that the things I write about have made them think differently or have inspired them. I have old friends from high school who are Jewish and yet read my blogs filled with stories about Jesus. 

Each morning I have no idea what I am going to write about. I sit down at my laptop and begin. Some days it starts with a picture, other days it begins with a scripture...but before I know it I am knee deep in a story and searching for scriptures which will accentuate it with God's wisdom and truth.

I used to love to read devotionals every morning, and now I am enjoying writing one. It is exciting to see it all come together...some days it is as if the story is writing itself, and I am reading along with the reader, expectant to find out how it will end. It has been an awesome experience of discipline and it has indeed strengthened my character.

For years I have started, and then stopped, and then started again...writing a book. I always found the process overwhelming, and even though I knew that I could do it, I had never managed to produce one (well, at least a finished one LOL). I was overwhelmed by the thought of producing two or three hundred pages of writing. But now, in less than four months, I have already accomplished what seemed impossible before. Perhaps this is part of the lesson that God wanted me to learn. And there is just no way to learn some things without doing them. I am grateful for the experience and I cannot wait to see what happens by the time that I return from Malawi.

Writing a book doesn't seem impossible to me any longer. Even though I went to N.Y.U. and studied in the Dramatic Writing Program, somewhere inside I never thought that I could actually produce something as large as a screen play or a novel...now I think that I can do whatever I put my mind to (or should I say my heart into).

The trick in changing my outlook, was in experiencing first hand, how tiny increments could quickly add up to a monumental goal...God has taught me a life changing lesson: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"  Philippians 4:13

I have believed this scripture in many areas of my life, but held a silent disbelief in this one area. God knows everything that I think in my heart, even when I don't freely admit it to Him or to myself. I didn't realize that I was believing this truth in some areas, and refusing to believe it in others.

Isn't that what we all do...we dare to trust God in some places, but we restrict His ability to work in our lives by not fully trusting Him in "ALL" places.

When Elisha prophesied God's deliverance, the king's officer said it couldn't happen. (2Kings 7:1-2) The officer's faith and hope were gone, but God's word came true anyway. Sometimes we become preoccupied with problems when we should be looking for opportunities. Instead of focusing on the negatives, we should develop an attitude of expectancy.

I know a few people that say that they are "writers"...but they never write. So if I write, even if every story isn't perfect, or each word prolific...even if I don't qualify for some lofty comparison to legendary authors whom we have all been forced to read in school...who cares, at least I am writing. And as I write, my own style and personality continue to develop.

I once prayed, "Lord, I want to reach a multitude for your kingdom". I know, a scary sounding prayer right? Wrong! It was an awesome prayer! And I meant it from the depths of my heart...and through the years God has been doing that in ways that I never could have imagined.

You might make mistakes...but are you living up to your full potential? Are you doing what you always wanted to do? Or are you a just another "writer" who doesn't write anything?

I really don't understand why when I say "I am going on a mission trip to Malawi", the first question people ask is, "Aren't you scared?"...No, why would I be scared? Others have called me courageous? What? Why? I am just getting on a airplane and going to Africa. People do it every day. The American concept of Africa is a bit skewed I guess.

I have to admit that part of it does have to do with how I live my life. I live my life in Christ...With God I have no reason to fear, because in Him, I like many before me, have been given power and victory.

"And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, about David and Samuel, and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies." - Hebrews 11:32-34

God gives us armor to wear for our battles, the "Armor of God"...

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." - Ephesians 6: 10-13

God gives us the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, our feet fitted with the readiness of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit...I am fully covered d and protected, there is no need for fear.

We also have the proactive weapon of worship. God's word says the He lives in the praises of His people. When we are praising God, focused on His perfect character and thanking Him for His perfect protection, their is no room for fear...there is no room for anything but God himself.

Yesterday morning at church, while praising God, I felt Him tell me that my Malawi Team needed to worship together. Now I am not the leader of these meetings and so I haven't really thought about my "Two cents" on leading, I just show up and am led,that's my role. But yesterday, God pointed out to me that this is His trip, and He wanted us to start out by worshiping Him together. I told our team leader and brought speakers and an ipod and lyrics for everyone. We began with prayer and worship.

God was right (as always!) Hearing every one's voices singing together was a beautiful thing. In worshiping Him we were united. In worshiping Him we were strengthened. In worshiping Him, we were focused. In worshiping Him, we were peaceful.

Where we are going, there will be battle. We will be at odds with an enemy. We will need to continue to use everything that God has provided for us to stand strong, and we must know His word well enough to know what those things are. I didn't want to overstep any bounds, but worship is what had been missing all along at our meetings. We had been addressing all of the "business" but this isn't just any trip, this is God's trip.

I am thankful that God tapped me on my shoulder, so to speak, and gave us direction. It is very important to be open to hear God, and then when you have heard Him, to obey.

So I go on this trip in peace. I trust in my God's perfect provision for me. Whatever his will is for me, He promises to go with me in it...that is enough for me.

"For you have been my hope, sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth. From birth I have relied on you...I will ever praise you.. My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long." - Psalm 71:5-8

Worship is like a two edged sword; one side exalts God, while the other cuts down the enemy.

When we encounter difficulty or opposition on this trip my plan of action is to stop, drop, and worship. There is no better place to be, no safer place for a child of God, then a yielded spirit, worshiping Him in spirit and in truth!

This morning I am taking my first pill to prevent Malaria. This makes it feel real, I am going to Malawi. I have been preparing, fund raising, researching, memorizing, organizing, journaling, blogging, reading, worshiping and dreaming about going to Malawi for over four months now, and finally the time has come.

All along the way, each day, God has given me direction. Right here in my home town, I have been able to improve the world. The world is improved when we bring Jesus with us into any and every situation.

Today I am keeping this short so that I can have extra time to read God's word and worship before I go to church this morning. I will only have two Sundays to enjoy my home church fellowship before I leave.

As I go I will carry with me the good news of the gospel...when we sit in the airports in Chicago, London, Nairobi, Lilongwe...I will carry the gospel. When we ride in an open air truck on the bumpy roads of Malawi towards the village of Madzanje, I will carry the gospel. When we arrive at Esther's House Orphanage, I will carry the gospel. As we walk through the surrounding villages, I will carry the gospel...

I have a chance to change the world every day. So do you. We can change the world for the better, or we can change the world for the worse...

God wants to change things...He wants to change your ways, your actions, your heart...

"If you really change your ways and your actions and deal with each other justly, if you do not oppress the foreigner, the fatherless, or the widow and do not shed Innocent blood in this place, and if you do not follow other gods to your own harm, then I will let you live in this place, the land I gave your ancestors forever and ever. But look, you are trusting in deceptive words that are worthless." - Jeremiah 7:5-8

Even though many haven't changed and trust in the lies of the world arround them, God cannot give them up because of who He is, because of His character, He continues to give us a chance to change:

"How can I give you up?...How can I hand you over?...My heart is changed with in me, all my compassion is aroused." - Hosea 11:8


What will you change today?

Our team leader for the Malawi trip gave us great news yesterday...Pure Mission gave us an extension to get the last of our money in! Yay! So now we have one more week ( We write our final check to them on Friday July 20th)

My friend Anne's daughter has a consignment shop. Her daughter is having a Flea Market in front of her store to gain business, so yesterday Lauren and I went through all of our jewelry and pocketbooks and tagged them for sale. We had jewelry that we had made one day with my mom, sister and nieces...and we had purchased items.

Last night I went to the drugstore to get some ones and fives for change to use today. When I went in the store there was a huge line in front, so I went back to the pharmacy. Now let me preface this story by telling you that I had just finished praying to God about the Flea Market...asking Him to help us to raise money quickly, thanking him for the abundance that we had that we could just go through drawers and closets and pick out things to sell, and that going to Malawi was much more important to us now than any of these things. I told him that he has been an amazing provider, and thanked him for being such a wonderful Father to me.

So we waited in line at the Pharmacy, and when it was my tun I asked for 40.00 dollars in ones and fives. The woman behind the counter ( her name tag said: "Cookie"...Love that name!) Gladly got the change (a miracle in itself these days at a store) and I went on to explain that we needed it for a sale. "Where is it?" she asked. "It's in Bensalem, kind of far away" I answered. "Oh shoot, I love yard sales." "We are going to Africa" Lauren said. "Africa!" she exclaimed, that's wonderful! What are you selling?". "Handbags and jewelry" I answered. "OHHHH, I love handbags! I have a problem" she quipped. "Well, I said, I live just around the corner from here...would you like to buy one?" I asked kiddingly. "Yes" Cookie said with out missing a beat, I work until 10 p.m. "OK we will be right back", I promised and hurriedly went to my car.

We came back with a plastic tub full of hand bags. Cookie picked three. We left Rite-aid last night with 75.00 cash!

We hadn't even gotten to the sale yet, and our God had made a way for us! This is the way things have been going the past few days. I needed supplies for the orphan packages we are taking over and St. Mary's gave me a container overflowing with pens, pencils, toothbrushes and toothpaste. I needed salt and sugar for the widow packages and while in the dinning room at the retirement home where I work with Polly, the manager just happened to be on the floor so I asked her to come over to our table. I told her I was going on a mission trip and told her the story about the quilts (read yesterday's post) and by the end of the day she gave me a 15 pound box of sugar packets and 12000 salt packets.

God most certainly is good. This is His trip, not ours, and He is making a way!!!

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant not to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything..." -1Timothy 6:17

So if anyone still feels that they would like to be a part of donating to this trip, you can still go online to www.puremission.org/give/send-a-servant and give. Click on my picture (Amanda Schaefer) and use your credit card to make a donation...or private message me for an address and you can send a check directly to me.

God can do anything, and I am resting in that truth...won't you help me get to Africa, and be part of this already amazing journey?

I am off to the Flea Market! Thank you :)

Today I am going to St. Mary's Villa to work with the kids on a project that I will be taking to Malawi with me. It all started a few weeks ago...I was on the phone with Carol at St. Mary's talking with her about our community group at church. I mentioned to her that I would like to do a power point of my trip to Malawi for the kids when I return. Her first response was "What can we do for them?" I was excited by the possibilities; one group of orphans working together to make a gift for another group of orphans across the world in Africa. After thinking and praying about it for awhile, all I kept thinking was "puzzle pieces" and "fabric". Now if you know me, you understand that images are the way that God relates things to me. As I pondered the two, I realized that puzzle pieces fit individual pieces together to make an entire picture, and so did  fabric weave individual threads together to make a whole. "Hmmmm, so what do I do with that?", I thought.

I called my friend Pat (who is a quilter, and basket weaver, and maker of many beautiful things)... I thought that she would be able to help. Pretty much as soon as we started talking, Pat was on the other line drawing out a quilt pattern. It was both puzzle pieces and fabric! Success. Pat laid out a wonderful pattern of dark and light blocks and strips, which when sewn together, would make a unified gift to give to the children in Malawi. The plan was to have the kids at St. Mary's write messages and decorate the light colored squares with fabric paints and markers. After Pat was done, we would have a beautiful quilt for me to take to the orphans in Malawi from other children who innately understood their plight...to be abandoned ones, left without a proper family to love and guide them through life as God had intended.

But the good news is that God says , "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." - John 14:18

 The idea began with connecting the kids at St. Mary's, unifying them and then connecting to Africa...but God wasn't done yet. That was only part of the picture. What would happen if I took cut fabric squares with me to Malawi? What if we had the orphan's in Africa write messages and decorate  fabric for a quilt to be made when I returned? What if we surprised both sets of kids with a gift from other children?

It was fantastic! So simple, and yet so eloquent...tying kids together through the act of "giving"...To span the thousands of miles that I will be traveling with love. I am so lucky! I get to be the ambassador from one group to the other. What a privilege to present the gift of connection to each group of kids.

It's rather funny, how everything fell together in just a few days. God works like that. He has a plan. We have no idea what it is. When we finally understand our role in His plan, and step out obediently (and I think it also needs to be joyfully), things happen effortlessly. The day after I had called Pat for her input, she arrived at our community group picnic with containers full of fabric. Some of us ironed, some of us cut, some of us picked out their favorite patterns...all together, we made exactly enough squares for two blankets. Now you must realize that we hadn't even thought of making the blanket from the kids in Malawi yet...but God had. Pat had said that we might as well cut the squares, and "who knew, maybe there would be enough time to make a second quilt for the orphans". We cut all of the squares, but in my mind, I was wondering how I would be able to pack more than one quilt. Each of us on the mission needed their suitcase to bring medical supplies, clothing and food...it was already going to be a challenge to bring one quilt.

It was such a simple answer (taking the light colored squares for the kids in Malawi to decorate) but it still took two more days for me to hear what God had been suggesting. I laughed when I realized that we already had all of the work done! My friend Anne quickly went out and purchased the fabric paints and markers and gave them to me when we had gotten together at her house. Being extremely efficient, she had used craft store coupons and gotten quite a bargain. I really didn't have to do anything but tell people what God had put on my heart, and suddenly all of these details just fell together, and there it was: God's plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

God's plan is always about prospering and giving hope. This overseas project was going to give lots of people hope. It was going to touch all of the kids, but it had already touched those of us who had the fun of preparing the materials. It touched everyone that I told about it. After talking with one person who said, "it's just such a feel good story of God's love and provision", the thought came to me: "Newspaper"...Hmmmm. Once again,  I believe by God's prompting, I was suddenly looking up the phone number to the Ambler Gazette (our local newspaper). Against all odds, I was put through immediately to the journalist who would write the story if they were interested. I introduced myself and began explaining what we were planning to do. He listened for a good fifteen minutes while I tied all of the story together. When I had finished, he excitedly said, "I think that is a wonderful story!" He said that he needed to check with his editor, and would try to get back to me by the next day. He called me back in less than two minutes.

I answered the phone and a voice on the other end of the line said" is Amanda Schaefer there? This is Eric Devlin from the Ambler Gazette calling." "Um, yes...that was quick", I stammered, having been taken by surprise. "My editor loved your story and we want to run it with pictures and an interview when your return from Malawi."

We hammered out the details and discussed what would make the most sense logistically. We exchanged cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses and agreed to check in with each other again before I left.

Once again, what struck me was how effortlessly everything came together. I could not have come up with all of this on my own. It was a accumulation of simple tasks woven together into something much, much bigger...in itself, the plan was "puzzle pieces and fabric". God was showing me that working together with the body of Christ, when we allow Jesus to be the head, and each of us does our part, we do function together...almost without thinking, just as the body functions and moves about doing its work. When we work together using our God given gifts to do the work of Christ...it feels effortless, and seems that everything falls miraculously together...everyone and every action matters as much as every other as they all work together to spread the love of Christ Jesus.

"For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ, we though many, form one body, and each member belongs to the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith. If it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is encouraging, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully." - Romans 12:4-8

We are made with a purpose and our lives are meant to be woven together...pieced together like a puzzle. When we function as the body of Christ, everything falls into place, lives are touched and Christ's love is shared. When I go to carry the quilt from one group to the other, I carry with it the glorious gospel of good news.!

"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion,'Your God reigns'." - Isaiah 52:7

How lucky am I? I get to carry the good news to Africa, and back home again to Ambler. I get to carry it with me every day, everywhere I go...all I have to do is share it and God will do the rest.

It has been awhile since I have written about the Robin who built her nest on my balcony. If you remember the story, the mother robin chose an extremely awkward and unsafe place to build her nest. I clearly remember poking a bit of fun at her by saying that she "failed nest placement 101". I had ended up rearranging my entire balcony for this little bird family. We were having a heat wave and I dragged my big red umbrella over to give shade in the heat and cover hr from the thunderstorms that kept rolling in with gale force each evening (now you should be caught up). Of course the strong image of a red umbrella (representing the blood of Christ ) covering the mother who covered the children was not lost on me. In spite of how this story ends, I still have that amazing image to hold onto...

"So where are the adorable pictures of baby birds?" you are asking...There are none. "What happened?" you wonder out loud (you really should watch that...people are going to think you are crazy). A blue jay happened. Nature happened. Enemies happened. Ugh...death happened.

Everything in nature seems to have an enemy. Blue Jays are beautiful birds, but they are also thieves and murderers. They swoop in on unprotected nests and eat the eggs while the parents are gathering food. They particularly enjoy bright blue baby robins eggs, of which there were four in the nest on my balcony.

The mama robin and I had really gotten into a rhythm...I would peak out the window, she would give me the "death stare" as if she was going to fly right at me and peck me right in the eye...I would go away (Lol).. Eventually each day, I had to water my plants and fill my hummingbird feeders, so I would slowly go out on the balcony, talking to her quietly, explaining that I was just watering the plants and would be leaving soon. After awhile she would let me do so, watching me with her steely little bird eyes...following my every move.

One day I went outside to check on my new friends. The mother robin was out gathering food. I looked into the nest, and instead of four eggs, there were only three! I couldn't believe how angry and sad I was! I had gotten quite attached to the little guys, but obviously that blue jay that I had seen stalking the nest, had stolen an egg. Now there were three...

I checked again the next morning, and to my utter dismay, all of the eggs were gone. The perfect center of the hollowed nest was pulled up and tattered, having been plucked repeatedly as each egg was stolen...each baby killed. My heart sunk. I had envisioned taking pictures of these little ones as they grew...what are the odds that you get a view like this of new life (it would have been just like the nature channel). I had gotten completely attached and now, as quickly as the perfect little nest had appeared out of nowhere...the eggs were all gone. It had been close to three weeks since the mama bird had chosen my home to make hers, and I was suddenly grieving the loss. We had been connected, even if for just a brief time...she was a breathing living creature, fostering the care for new life...something so precious...

It has taken me awhile to write about it because nothing turned out the way that I had expected. I had been so excited... But we never know what will actually happen, when death will step in...when an enemy will attack.

As Christians, we have an enemy of our souls. He stands at a distance, like the blue jay, watching, waiting for the moment that we lay helpless and unprotected, to swoop in and kill. He doesn't want to maim or to hurt, he wants to eat us alive.

"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." - 1Peter5:8

"But that scripture isn't about a blue jay Amanda, it's about a lion" you say quickly correcting me. I get it, you are right, but in the "Bird realm" the blue jay is the lion. He is big. He is strong. He is loud. He is aggressive. He kills things. He prowls. He watches. He waits. He preys.

I would be remiss not to allow God to speak truth to me through this death as much as he spoke to me about life through the red umbrella. This is a warning about being alert. This is a reminder that we have an enemy, and even if we aren't aware that he is watching, waiting to make his move, he is.The bible clearly states that Satan is our enemy. But it also says that we are given power and authority over our enemies through the blood of Jesus Christ.

"I saw Satan fall like lightening from heaven. I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all power of the enemy; nothing will harm you." - Luke 10:19

There are scores of scriptures about enemies...but What happens when we are the villain? When we are the ones who are the enemy? When we allow our lives to be ruled by the evil one instead of God, we get put into the same category as the enemy, we become the blue jay. All of the feelings that I had about this nasty, murderous, horrible bird, that was actually me before I accepted Christ. That is still me if I do not stay under his perfect covering and obey his ways for living...

"You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think scripture says without reason that he jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? But he gives us more grace. That is why the scripture says: 'God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.' Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." - James 4:4-10

I...You, are born enemies of the Lord. We are big nasty obnoxious blue jays...squawking loudly...staking out our property...showing our strength and pridefully striking at anything weaker than ourselves as we stalk our prey and eat up those around us who are defenseless. Sounds like the corporate world a little huh? Or like what the world is constantly droning at us from every port of technology, "You deserve it, you are number one, you are the best, the strongest, the wealthiest, the prettiest, the smartest....squander, maim, kill your enemy...you are the victor, you are in control, you are the winner...." On and on it goes, shouting at us relentlessly.

The truth is that we are in control of very little...perhaps you are in control of choosing your outfit for the day, what you will eat, what color you car is...but in some countries, like Malawi, where I am going in a few weeks, you don't even get to choose those things... We aren't really in control of anything, God is. And unless we are with Him in Christ...we are His enemy.

If we are aligned with God through Jesus, God promises to care for us...He protects us from enemies, He provides for our every need. The one who "IS" in control will care for us like a shepherd for his sheep, and our lives will lack nothing. The mama robin was on her own. She had a mate who watched for enemies, but he was not able to protect her or her babies. The babies died before they ever had a chance. That is how we come into this world...we are dead spiritually because of what happened in the Garden of Eden. We need the perfect covering of the blood of Jesus to protect us. He is in control...even of our enemies. He will take care of us and protect us all the days of our lives.

Who would you rather be? The baby robin eggs, easy prey, never to fulfill their potential...or the fully protected and loved child of the king?

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quite waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest Valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." - Psalm 23

If I spent an hour looking up all the verses in the bible that talk about my words, depression would set in. When I open God's word, I find many convicting passages about "my words".

My words can stab others (Proverbs 12:18)... My words can bring death (Proverbs 18:21)

Now obviously, these verses aren't meant to be taken literally, or there would be a lot of wounded or dead husbands and children lying around. These verses refer to the spiritual and emotional harm that our words can cause. There is another portrait painted in these same verses.

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." - Proverbs 12:18

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue." - Proverbs 18:21

What a contrast: wounds vs. healing; death vs. life. Hope comes from the last  half of these verses. Our words can be filled with life giving wisdom, encouragement, and blessing. When we bless God and others with our words, they are a sweet fragrance of worship to the Father.

God created the world to bring Him glory. All the earth is to shout joyfully to God. The waves lift their hands, the mountains bow down, and the trees clap...Together the instruments of God's design sing the glory of His name and make His praise glorious (Psalm 66)

All creation worships, but only man and woman, can worship with words. You and I have been given great privilege, the gift of language.

(But,Your words can curse others.)

"For every species of beast and birds and reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison." - James 3:7-8

In the garden of Eden, lions, tigers, grizzly bears and tongues were tame. But when sin entered the world, the tongue became a wild creature alongside other beasts.

The sad part is that we, who have been given the gift of language so that we might worship God, use this gift to curse Him and those who are made in His image.

"With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way." - James 3:9-10

This is serious. Because we curse others, we are in effect, cursing God and obliterating the previous act of blessing.

When I first read the scripture, I thought, "I don't curse people". But my study of this passage shows that I do. When James used the word "curse", it meant much more than cursing...Unkind words about a neighbor, child, husband, or anyone who is made in the image of God counts as curses. Ouch!

Are you gulping? I am. How many times after singing praises to God in a worship service, have I climbed into the car and spoken unkind words to the "very bad driver in front of me" (true, the other driver couldn't hear me, but God and anyone else in the car could!). Face it we are human, we speak bad words. How many times have I gotten up from my knees praying and later snapped at my family? Be honest...how many times does the "old self" rear it's extremely ugly head, and in a flash cause our hearts to respond with cursing?

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word that is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." - Ephesians 4:29-30 (NIV)

"Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." - Ephesians 4:29-30 (NLT)

... The Message says (Ephesians 4:29-30), "Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift."

Now the bible also says, that your words can be dirty, rotten garbage....

 The use of the words such as "foul" or "dirty" are appropriate, as the Greek word "Sapros" literally means "dirty rotten garbage". Like bad fruit, "rotten" talk spreads rottenness. If you have ever smelled spoiled fish or garbage left standing in the sun for weeks...this picture is clear.

But what words classify as "dirty rotten garbage"? Is it only the foul, four letter variety? Our answer is found in the second half of the verse. The opposite of garbage words are words that edify and bring encouragement. To "edify" means to improve the building's form, to reinforce the structure, so we can say that words that edify reinforce the heart of the person receiving the blessing. Edifying words give grace, not judgement. They meet the need of the moment.

Verse 30 says that my words can produce an even worse outcome, they can grieve God...they can break His heart. Can you picture God grieving because of the dirty rotten garbage that came out of your mouth today?

Just as choosing wise words brings God glory...remaining silent when the words are boiling over inside you to be spoken, gives God glory. When I put a watch over the door to my lips, I am worshipping the Father. When I weigh my words on the scale of wisdom and remain silent, God is well pleased. I bow my words in worship before my God

So here is my challenge today to you...to me, to bow our words as worship to the Lord. To think of everything that comes out of our mouths, before we let it out. Inquire of the Lord.. "God, Should I say this?" His answer to what happens when we keep silent is in Exodus 14:14 :

"I will fight for you while you keep silent" (Enough said!)

Ultimately the reason that I speak too quickly, is that things are at a standstill. I know that God is working, but He can be so slow...and when His timing doesn't correlate with mine, I'm tempted to jump in and "help Him out". So daily I must bow my spoken and unspoken words before the Lord and say, "Father, tell me not only what to speak, but when to speak. I long to exalt you with my words."

When we learn to exalt God with our words, they will bring life and healing to others.

When Peter kept his gaze on Jesus...He walked on water, but  as soon as he looked around at the wind and the waves, he began to sink.

"Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord save me!' Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. 'You of little faith', He said, 'Why did you doubt?'" - Matthew 14:29-31

This story occurs right after Jesus feeds the five thousand. "Immediately Jesus made the  disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowd. After He had dismissed them, He went up on a mountainside by Himself to pray. Later that night, He was there alone, and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw Him walking on the lake, they were terrified." - Matthew 14:22-25

Peter was the only one in the boat to react in faith instead of fear. His impulsive interaction with Jesus led him to experience a rather unusual demonstration of the Lord's power. Peter started to sink because he took his eyes off of Jesus and instead, focused on the high waves created by the wind. His faith wavered when he realized what he was doing.

We may not walk on water, but we do walk through choppy, stormy situations...If we focus on the circumstances around us without looking to Jesus for help, we too may begin to sink. To maintain your faith in tough times, you must keep your eyes on Jesus' power rather than your own inadequacies.

Although we start out with good intentions (at least I always do), our faith often falters. This doesn't necessarily mean that we have failed. When Peter's faith faltered, he called out to Jesus, the only one who could help him. Even though he was afraid, he still looked to Christ.

Right after an amazing mountain-top experience like feeding the five thousand with only a few loaves and fish...Jesus sent His disciples out for another lesson. The juxtaposition of these two stories is very interesting...take a look at your own faith life...doesn't it usually happens this way; God strengthens you by showing His miraculous ability, and then tests your faith to see if you can trust Him. Like many of the bible greats, sometimes we fail the test.

Why are there so many ups and downs for even people of great faith? They take their eyes off of the Lord. Elijah was a prophet who experienced many miraculous interactions with God. God shut up the heavens with drought for him, sent fire down at his command, made flour and oil last indefinitely during a famine for this prophet, a widow and her son, allowed Elijah to raise a dead boy to life....and believe it or not, many more events including being taken up to heaven by chariots of fire without ever having to experience death! "WOW", you say..."That's amazing!"...Right? But Elijah is also found defeated and depressed when being chased by the cruel and ruthless Jezebel. He literally asks the Lord to die. (Ironic that he wants to die, and then never experiences death!)

We experience defeat when we look away from God. We cannot have victory in this world without Him due to our fallen state. We ride the roller coaster of relationship with Him as we choose to look to Him for help...and then just as quickly, to look away. Each time we try to accomplish things on our own, we begin to sink into the chaotic waves of the world around us. God is eternally consistant...it is we who look away, it is our hearts that turn from him...

While preparing for this mission trip to Malawi, I am looking at Jesus. I am intentionally focusing my gaze on Him. When thoughts about raising enough money by next Sunday (5 days from now) loom in my mind, I turn my head and look for the Lord. God promises that I will have enough money to go by Sunday, so I keep on walking. When I consider all of the things that could go wrong on this trip, I intentionally look up..."Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip - He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you..." - Psalm 121:1-5

I have heard that many on the team are still worried about money. To them I say, "God is able!" This is God's trip, not ours...focus your attention on Jesus, do not look around at the wind or the waves. Trust in the Lord...He will watch over you.

This is my last request to you for a donation...I can see that many of you read these posts, but I don't know who you are. So I am trusting God to move in your hearts... Please be part of this mission to spread God's truth and hope with boldness and love...If you can help me, visit www.puremission.org/give/send-a-servant when on this link look for my picture. Click on my picture (it looks like this ) and use your credit card to make a one time donation. It has to be today for pure mission to get the information to us by Friday...I am looking at Jesus. I refuse to look at the waves. I am trusting the Lord. Thank you!