I know I have been  A.W.A.L.for a few days, but I have had some difficulty keeping up with all of the preparations for the trip, my family life, discipling the two lovely ladies I am working with, and trying to reign in my testimony to a mere three hundred words. So here I am at last, sitting at my kitchen table with my coffee, my bible, my journal and my laptop. My original intention was to journal during my morning worship and quiet time and blog in the afternoon or evening...the problem has been that when I wait to blog, I am either too busy, or I fall asleep. I have become a morning person (yes one of those!) through a series of life changing events; motherhood,aging, and illness. Trust me, in my heart, getting up at 5am every day is not a good idea, in my heart I have a temper tantrum at the thought of wrestling open my eyes before the sun is up, but, alas, in my reality, it is the only time that I can get away by myself to spend with the Lord. It started years ago when the kids were younger, I would steal away to the kitchen, open my bible and my journal and have my time with God. Don't get me wrong, I talk with God throughout the day. I listen to worship music in the car and praise Him at the top of my lungs (I try to remember not to close my eyes while I am driving)  I speak scripture into every conversation that I can, and I do ministry for a living...but that morning time with Jesus...cannot be adequately conveyed. I sit, as Mary did, at His feet...I tell him my deepest sorrows, He brushes them away with a kiss of His word, I worship him barefoot in His presence and lift prayers of praise as incense before His throne...we dance, we wrestle, we argue, we listen,we laugh, we cry...WE LOVE. It is our special time alone together before the world invades. He encourages me with His word and whispers wisdom into my life, guiding me always with His spirit in truth and mercy. His grace IS sufficient for me...He IS all I need.

In many situations in my life at the moment, the lesson seems to be the same: "Trust Me". Change is good, it means that we are alive, but change has it's pains and it's awkward moments until the new settles in and becomes the now. I am excited about the changes that are happening in my life, but the stretching pains are uncomfortable. We would always rather be in "In Egypt"...the past is so easy to glorify,we forget the injustices and the captivity and remember only the "leeks and the garlic"...for those reading this that have no idea what I am referring to, the quoted thoughts are from the bible, when the Israelites were in the dessert, having left the slavery of the Egyptians...Even though God had provided them perfect food from heaven, they yearned for the foods they had eaten in Egypt. Instead of being thankful for their freedom, they longed for their captivity, having romanticized it over time. We do that too...refusing to see the obvious lack and burden in certain relationships and situations in our lives. We choose to see what we perceive as the good, and gloss over the prison bars that we look through. In Christ we can break free, from even the habit of longing for "Egypt"... What we need to keep fresh in our minds is the truth that "The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life" (John 10:10) What we long for needs to be obedience to Christ, in His ways are abundant life. The world, which is governed by the enemy, wants to convince us that there is richness and satisfaction in anything other than Jesus. The world is ruled by a liar and cannot speak any other language. It is up to us to know who speaks the truth, and to choose the truth, even if we are in the desert...even when it looks like lack...believing that if  God is with us, we are exactly where we need to be.

If you remember anything that I have said, please remember this:" Love never fails". Loving God never fails to bring Him by your side. Praise Him continually...for praise works faith, and "God inhabits the praise of His people". As I prepare to go to Malawi I take comfort in knowing that He is sending me to tell the widows and the orphans who He is. He is:

"Father to the fatherless, defender of widows...God places the lonely in families; He sets the prisoners free and gives them joy." - Psalm 68:5-6